Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
