The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
