He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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