I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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