apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize