I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize