am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
