Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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