I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just want nice things and good sex
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
