Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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