just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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