I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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