hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Let's get the cat blown out
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize