Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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