you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
