hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
