i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
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Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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