I could have mohawked her pubes.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
