Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
