spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
