Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
