um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
