didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
