Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
