he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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