the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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