hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
