So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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