question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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