dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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