We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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