i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
