maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
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