My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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