If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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