But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize