In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
