remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
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They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
We had sex on a dog bed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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