i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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