i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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