Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
