Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
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the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
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Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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