I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just made out with a guy for $7.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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