oh god the rape fog is back!
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
