When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
