Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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