glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize