Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
