I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize