I'm eating all of the evidence.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
