We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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