Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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