They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
