THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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