She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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