so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
