Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
