I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
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She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
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Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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