Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize