I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
