he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
