Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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